OK guys. Let’s talk about buying gifts for women. It’s an intimidating topic, but ignoring it won’t make it go away. We have to face this head-on. I have seen Marines who did two tours of Nam go pale with terror when it was time to buy stuff for their wives, girlfriends, or even their own mothers. Getting good gifts for the ladies is certainly not an exact science, but I would like to offer a few insights that may be helpful when facing this daunting task.
Knowing the person you are buying for is the first factor that tends to make it go smoothly. Not to over-simplify human personalities, but you might look at women (just for gift buying purposes) as falling into a few categories: sentimental, intellectual, crafty, collectors, practical, and self-indulgent. Of course, some women fall into more than one category, but these can get you started.
Sentimental women want something from the heart. When it comes to mothers, they are almost always sentimental when it comes to their kids, even if their gift receiving patterns are different with other people. Anything you can make with your own hands will tend to make them happy – the more personalized the better. If you can create something, write something, or sing something just for them, you are all set. Sounds simple, but if you are not already gifted and trained in something appropriate, you may find yourself wishing you could just buy them something expensive.
Intellectual women want things that will stimulate their minds. If you are intellectual as well, this can be pretty easy. Either way, books, films, and music usually work pretty well. One of the things that makes this kind of woman easy to buy for is that they tend to talk a lot about their intellectual interests. If you are paying attention, and asking a few conversational questions, you should be able to get some great ideas without spoiling the surprise.
Crafty women, as in those who like to do crafts, always want more craft stuff. The tricky part with them is finding out what they don’t have without being too obvious (assuming you want to make it a surprise). The good news is that many of the best craft stores have gift cards available. This makes it easy for both of you. You can pick up a convenient gift card and they can go and get precisely what they want. They will still probably be impressed that you thought of this, since it’s a specialty shop gift card and not a more generic one. You can ask them where they get their materials, or just keep an eye out for catalogs, clipped coupons, or other evidence of their favorite stores.
Like crafters, collectors are tricky in that it’s hard to know sometimes what they already have. For collectors of things, you may be best off simply asking to see their collections and then taking mental notes. You can always ask if there is anything that collectors have trouble finding.
Practical women are typically looking for things that make them more self-reliant. One of the best gifts for practical women and / or “Tomboys” is an oscillating multi tool. The right kind of woman would really appreciate one of these because it’s one tool that can take the place of a bunch of different tools. It uses different multi tool blades that you can switch out easily. It’s great for lady do-it-yourselfers because it’s light and versatile, and they can use it for a huge variety of renovation, crafting, decorating, sculpting, and repair projects. The tools can be a bit pricey, but they tend to be very durable. The replacement blades can be very pricey if you buy blades through the name brand sites, but you can find excellent off-brand replacements that are just as good, and for a fraction of the price.
I don’t recommend getting women, even practical women, cleaning equipment or any other items associated with their stereotypical domestic chores, unless they specifically ask for them. Women have come a long way in terms of independence and self-reliance, and tokens of earlier, sexist times will not put you in her good graces. Try to give her practical tools and equipment that show that you believe she is capable of doing anything.
“Self-indulgent” may not be the best label for my last designation of female gift receivers; it sounds a bit judgmental, but I don’t mean to be. I am talking about women who know how to relax and enjoy themselves. We can’t necessarily call them hedonists. They may not go that far, but these are the kinds of women who can sit in a bubble bath and just zone out for hours. They love spas, manicures, facials, massages, great wine, gourmet cheese, etc. They are pretty easy to buy for, especially if you are wise enough to ask the advice of employees at the shops you check out.
In all cases, do not be afraid to ask for help. The biggest, most important tip I can give for men buying gifts for women is to ask the advice of other women, especially women who know your gift recipients well. In addition, try to see which of the gift receiving categories she falls into, and then focus your shopping based on this information. Once you make it into the store (and showing up in person tends to be safer than buying online for this), talk with the store employees about what you know about her. It will usually work out very well.
The author is a professor, martial arts expert, and also knows the value of putting some thought behind buying a gift for that “special someone”
