A divorce is a tough time for everyone. You have to realize that it won’t just affect you and your partner. It will impact both sides of the family that might have grown close over the years. It will affect your friends who will be forced to decide who to side with. But perhaps most important of all, it can impact your kids. Past research has shown that a divorce can have a deep and long lasting impact on the social development of a child. But, there are ways parents can help reduce the strain kids feel during a divorce. Here are some of the steps you need to take right now.
Explain It In A Way Children Understand
It is important that you explain to your children what is happening during a divorce. You can not and should not expect them to just roll with the punches. They must know how the divorce is going to affect them. But at the same time, you need to reassure them of two things. First, while their life is going to be different, it’s not going to be completely new. They still have their parents and will still see them. Second, the divorce was in no way their fault.
You should not share with them any ugly details of the divorce and blame should not be thrown in either direction. It’s important for children to see the divorce as a mutual decision. If they don’t, it could affect their relationship with one of the parents.
Hire An Understanding Lawyer
Your lawyer should understand that your children come first. Rather than attempting to bleed the most out of your former partner they can, they should be looking after your child’s welfare. This means you may want to focus your legal argument on child custody. Particularly if you think that your former spouse is an unfit parent, and this is the reason for the divorce. Top divorce attorneys know how to win child custody battles without pushing a child in between two parents in a legal battle.
Don’t Fight In Front Of Children
If the marriage has ended on bad terms, it’s likely that there will be a lot of fighting behind the scenes. It’s even understandable, particularly if one partner has had an affair. But you can not let your children see this fighting. It’s important that you are always civil when they are around. No matter how young, children always pick up more than parents expect them to. You can not have an argument in front of a child without them realizing. No matter how subtle you may think you are being, they will notice. Furthermore, it’s a fallacy that children don’t remember these types of experiences that occur at a young age. They do.
Keeping Up Routines
Finally, divorce brings big changes to a child’s life. That’s why it’s crucial that you keep as much as their daily routine the same as possible. If they’re used to their father driving them to football practice make sure someone else is doing that job. Or, let the father continue to fill this role. It’s important that you don’t let these little things slip through the cracks during a divorce. They could have severe negative implications later in life.