Divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences for a person ever to go through. If you are a dad, it may feel like your whole life has been turned upside down. You are stuck in a deeply uncomfortable situation where the decisions you make both affect you and your children. You might worry that you’re not doing the right things or handling your responsibilities adequately, but you are not alone! Many other dads are dealing with the same situation, and we have pointers on how to go through this with as much ease and comfort as possible!
Divorce can be complicated and emotional, but it doesn’t also have to be a giant headache. Here are some tips that might help take some of the edge off of having to serve divorce papers to your ex and consequently parenting your children during the following divorce proceedings.
How to Serve Divorce Papers to Your Ex
- Obtain your soon-to-be ex’s current residential address.
- Sit down and write up the divorce papers.
- Add any additional material needed to make the request legal, such as a copy of your marriage license, a statement of the date the marriage ended, or an affidavit of one or both spouses with all of their signatures.
- Fill out a summons form, which is included in most self-help kits for divorces.
- Have the forms notarized and signed by at least one witness, who must have seen you sign the documents if you’re not doing them in front of a court clerk or judge.
- Look up local laws to determine how long you’ll need to wait before serving your spouse with the papers in person — some states require ten days while others require 45 days (or even 60 days)!
Tips for Dealing with Children during Divorce Proceedings
No matter the outcome, your children will have to go through a lot. It’s hard to watch your kids grow up and change right before your eyes, especially when going through a divorce.
Children will have many questions about the change that is happening in your family, so it’s essential to be honest with them. Don’t sugarcoat what happened or lie about why the parents are splitting up. One of the best ways to help your kids cope with their feelings is to reassure them that they did nothing wrong: this isn’t their fault. Your child may feel like they’re losing one parent and want both parents back together again. Empathize with them and let them know that you understand how they think, but that for now, it’s best for everyone if both parents live separately.
Tips for the Father During Divorce Proceedings
- Be a good listener. They’ll be more likely to return the favor if you show that you are hearing and valuing what your kids have to say
- Give them hugs and spend time with them.
- Keep up with the kids’ schoolwork, but don’t do their homework for them.
- Keep the rules and discipline consistent for both kids and parents.
- Make sure at least one parent is available to take care of the kids daily, even if it’s not in the same house as the other parent.
- Put your relationship with your ex aside and work together – at least until your children are grown up enough to decide how they want to live their lives.
Divorce proceedings can be complicated for everyone involved, but the process can be even more difficult for some ex-spouses when they are parenting children. If you are a father who is still parenting your children, you may be wondering what the best way to serve divorce papers to your ex is.
We recommend serving divorce papers in person, as this will allow you to talk with them about what is going on. This conversation is vital if you will also be seeking a joint custody agreement.
It’s important to remember that you are in charge of your life, and you are allowed to make decisions that are best for your kids. Divorce proceedings may not be easy, but keeping your children’s needs in mind may go a little more smoothly for you.