Yelling, spanking, and even talking down to children- we see it all the time, and many parents know that these methods don’t really discipline the child the way they are intended to do. Positive discipline is making a resurgence as more and more parents are becoming aware of their actions and how they affect their kids. Dads, in particular, need to practice this because they are often seen and tasked as the disciplinarian in a parenting relationship.
Positive discipline helps children develop stronger relationships with their parents, as well as being a more effective manner of disciplining a child. It helps to stop the misbehavior before it starts. These discipline options are positive and help your kids more than negative tactics will.
Focus on You
Control yourself, not your child. That is the first step in being able to use positive discipline. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you when you need to think clearly to redirect your child so that the behavior you need to discipline is corrected. When you can control your emotions in the heat of the moment, you can effectively use positive tactics.
Talk to Your Kids
It sometimes is as simple as having a good talk with your children. When you talk to them, you will be able to understand the reason behind the poor behaviors your child is exhibiting. Children are not inherently bad and don’t set out to misbehave. There is generally a reason they do misbehave, whether they’re frustrated, sleepy, or just don’t understand what you expect of them. By talking to them you will be able to identify the underlying issues and help to correct them before the bad behaviors ever start, which will help eliminate the need to discipline.
Reinforce Positive Behaviors
Most times, children act up because they want attention- so only give them the attention if what they are doing is positive behavior. If a child throws a tantrum walk away from it. If they throw a toy, tell them that it is unacceptable, take the toy, and walk away from them. When they do something nice or good, though, praise them. Make a behavior chart and let them know where they rank on it daily so they can keep their positive behaviors going.
Just like a broken record, “no” and “don’t do that” will go in one ear and out the other with kids because they hear it too much. Make them listen by changing what you say and changing their focus. Instead of yelling “no” at your child in the grocery store when you see them messing with things on a shelf, ask them to help you pick up things or put things in the cart. Tell them that they are great helpers and that by helping you they’ve cut down the shopping time so that you can all go do something fun instead of being stuck in the grocery store all day. This will make them feel important and they will want to help, plus they see a benefit to their good behavior.